Why I Gave Up Gossip and How to Eliminate it from Your Life
But first, a quick note . . . !
Welcome to a new week on The Elgin Avenue!
I’m so happy to be back here with you after a week’s hiatus from blog posts. Last week I took time off to catch up on a backlog of emails, admin and desk work which had been mounting since Big Small Business in April.
Do you ever feel like you are chasing your own tail? Overwhelm is a horrible feeling, and as I shared in this post on Instagram you have a few options if you are currently going through a period of overwhelm yourself:
1 – Scale back.
2 – Scale up your team.
3 – Go loopy trying to do it all yourself . . . ! (Normally at the expense of your health/sanity/relationships!)
For too long I’d been stuck in ‘Work Zone 3’ and last week I finally decided that if I was to truly catch up on things, I needed to 1 – scale back, and 2 – explore the option of scaling up my team.
Here I am a week later and turns out that scaling back is pretty dreamy! I’m on top of my inbox, niggling tasks are clearing, and I’m excited to be exploring delegation for the first time!
I’d love to know, before I hand you over to the wonderful Chelsea Becker today, what work zone are you currently in?
Drop me a comment at the bottom of this post, or tweet me your thoughts!
OK, on to today’s post . . . !
Today I’m super excited to be sharing contributor Chelsea Becker’s take on gossip. More specifically, how to eliminate gossip from your life.
No doubt you’ve been in a situation where you are partaking in gossip, are witnessing it going on, or have even been on the receiving end of it.
Gossip is certainly something which I prefer to side-step, and I’m 100% behind all of Chelsea’s savvy tips.
Over to Miss Becker . . . !
Love, Monica x
Why Gossip Is A Negative Force & How To Avoid It Altogether
Simply put, gossip stinks. It’s one of life’s unproductive habits that adds negativity to a world that so badly needs positivity. And even though it’s never come naturally or sat well with me, it’s been a part of my life.
I used to blame it on chatty girlfriends or the over-sharing culture that we live in, but at the end of the day – deciding to gossip (or not) is up to us. It’s a choice, and one that oftentimes comes down to peer pressure, a lack of compassion, and not being mindful enough.
Sometimes a good session with your girlfriends seems good for the soul – but why gossip? Surely there are other things to connect and chat about: our dreams, struggles, the best part of our day, reality TV!
Plus, maybe the most unfair aspect of gossip is that rarely do we know the full story of someone else – what they’re going through, their situation, why they act/look/talk/dress a certain way.
Real quick, do me a favor and think about the last time you gossiped. Did you feel awful and hoped that person never found out? Did you feel bad about yourself, then lay awake anxious? I know I have.
Now imagine what it’d feel like if you overheard a group gossiping about you. Maybe it’s something you have experienced (and if so, I’m sending love and a big hug). Either way, it’d be a terrible feeling.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that nothing positive or productive comes from gossip – it’s toxic through and through. It feels bad on both ends, it’s a waste of brainpower, and it adds zero goodness to my life.
And while I can’t take back the countless times that I have gossiped or judged, I can absolutely improve going forward. I’ve been working hard to avoid it completely, and here are 3 things that have helped – maybe they’ll work for you as well:
“maybe the most unfair aspect of gossip is that rarely do we know the full story of someone else –
what they’re going through, their situation, why they act/look/talk/dress a certain way.”
Choose Friends Wisely
I can think of a certain group of girls who love to gossip. It’s their hobby, how they connect. And each time I’d hang out with them, I’d gossip, feel bad about it, and wish I never had.
It was an unhealthy cycle, and the good times with weren’t worth the negativity that I felt – not even close.
Because of that, I distanced myself from that group of friends. It was hard at first, but now I don’t miss the friendships of that circle – I rely on stronger, more comfortable relationships where gossip isn’t a requirement.
Focusing on removing judgement in general has been life-changing.
When I have a feeling of judgement about another person – even if it’s in my head – I do my best to catch it, be aware of it, then replace it with a positive note about that person.
If I run into a situation where gossip is occurring, I simply stay quiet.
If someone asks why I’m not jumping in, I’ll be upfront about my goal of not gossiping. It might be awkward for a minute, but most people respect your choices – and if they don’t, they likely aren’t a genuine relationship to worry about.
What’s Your Take?
Have you experienced the same struggle with gossip? What’s your history with the toxic behavior? How have you dealt with it? Is it a part of your life still?
Love, Chelsea x